Adultery and Divorce

Sometimes it appears there are contradictions within the writing of the bible: for example the writing on Adultery and Divorce.

Matthew 5, 31: ‘ “ It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ [32] But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for martial unfaithfulness, causes her to commit adultery, and anyone who marries a woman so divorced commits adultery.’

This writing is often used to put the ownership on women for the success of marriage: that she will be the one to commit adultery if the marriage fails for another reason than (in this scenario) marital unfaithfulness.

Mark 10, 11: “…Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. [12] And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

How can the difference between the two writings be reconciled? (1) Matthew 5, 31 does not preclude the husband responsibility (after all it is he whom is responsible for her act of adultery—i.e., Adam and Eve: Adam being responsible for Eve after the fall) as well as it does not say that the male has not committed adultery through divorce (in other words it does not exclude an act of adultery of male because of him divorcing her). I also think that that Matthew 5, 31 can be read as saying for males to take responsibility for the success of a marriage (i.e. the attitude of you have made your bed now it is time to lye in it): it is the responsibility of males to take care of females spirituality protection—i.e., Adam and Eve—and the man would not be doing his duty if he divorces her because this would compromise her spirituality (i.e., if he divorces her). I also think that there is an underlying thought that divorce will lead to sexual relations between different people in other marriages. The bible says:

Matthew 5, 33: “ ‘Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.’ [34]But I tell you, Do not swear at all…Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ be ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”

Does this only apply to oaths in general or does this apply to marriages? Can we have unions not be based on oaths; instead being based on ‘Yes’ those together be faithful to each other?

Mark 10, 7: ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and [8] the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. [9]Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate’

How can we know what God has joined together? Can there be difference between who God has planned us to be together and whom we marry? Is the joining by God is done, occurs, or represented by the sexual act or has it happen before are birth and we need to find that person or a person that we match with?